Haiku Society of America Renku Awards
in Memorial of Bernard Lionel Einbond
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HSA Renku Awards for 2001
Shinku
Fukuda, Eiko Yachimoto, and Fay Aoyagi
judges
Grand Prize
Winter Stars
Mark Brooks
Christopher Herold
~ ~ ~
Winter Stars
winter stars
the telescope eyepiece
slightly warm
mb
eggnog and rumballs
ready
our wives call from the kitchen
ch
a muezzin
ducks back inside
the minaret
mb
you stand in line
for lotto tickets
ch
stuck on the turnpike
I watch the moon rise
over an open field
mb
motionless silhouette
of a stag
ch
still uncertain
the palsied Floridian
dimples a ballot
ch
pressure ridges surround
the base of the volcano
mb
then she unzips my fly
and slips in
a downy feather
ch
on their second date
he proposes
mb
major mergers
spawn a trading frenzy
at the closing bell
ch
larger fish chase down
baby orange platys
mb
Los Angeles smog
eclipsing the eclipsing
June moon
ch
home run ball lost
in sprinkler mist
mb
a whole platoon
of plastic soldiers
raked from the sandbox
ch
Night of the Living Dead
on the late, late, late show
mb
one limb only
of the withered cherry tree
rife with blossoms
ch
near some cliff dwellings
an old pilgrim yawns
mb
safe and dry
we pull down our kite
out of the rain
mb
in a shift of wind
someone practicing tuba
ch
the new guy
cleans out
the elephants' cage
mb
barnacles seal
the dingy trunk
ch
a layer of frost
settles
into the woodpile
mb
manuscript accepted
by the flames
ch
now adorned
with a St. Jude medallion
he rhymes again
mb
the kids' smooch attempt
becomes a fit of giggles
ch
boat stuck
in the tunnel
of love
mb
muffled scraping
from the next cell
ch
harvest moon and yet
green pecans still tumble
down the roof
mb
dusk so early, swallows
no longer skim the pond
ch
in the garden
dragonflies
are becoming attached
ch
party streamers
tied to a gate
mb
with a flourish
I brush on
the ragged cloud
ch
snowmelt ripples
the driveway oil slick
mb
petals drift
through the long arcs
of a swing
ch
what's a fit reward
for the best jumping frog?
mb
~ ~ ~
Second Prize
Snowball Snow
Paul W. MacNeil
Ferris Gilli
Peggy Willis
Lyles
~ ~ ~
Snowball Snow
first light
the sidewalk to work
passes snowball snow
pm
shouts of laughter
from the hillside sledders
fg
she adds
a dash of hot sauce
to the bubbling soup
pwl
helicopter rotors
rev for takeoff
pm
sudden swirl
of fallen leaves
in full moonlight
fg
chrysanthemums
beside your door
pwl
the butler
frightens tricky monsters
with a real tarantula
fg
Kahlil Gibran glares
from the book's cover
pm
how many times
have those dark eyes
spoken my name
pwl
a different tattoo
for every man who seduced her
fg
smoke
rings
the sated lovers
pm
another schnauzer
clearing the hoop
pwl
moonrise
lengthens melon
after melon
pm
as the Dow drops
the smell of sweat
pwl
a bar of soap
thuds
on the shower-stall floor
fg
barely a hiss
the sommelier pulls a cork
pm
bouquets
of cherry blossoms
for Madame Butterfly
pwl
every mirror shows
the tomboy's spring formal
fg
on their nest
a heron pair
touches and bows
pm
proposing with a new house
and a prenuptial contract
fg
he lived
without me
after all
pwl
why did that masked stranger
leave a silver bullet?
pm
eagerly
we drop our coins
into the gypsy's palm
fg
refugees cross
a withered field
pwl
matted with ice
the Scottish cattle
stand to the storm
pm
echoes of the battering ram
on the portcullis
fg
his birth cry
cuts through
a daze of pain
pwl
behind a rusty dumpster
syringes
pm
the moon's path
leads straight to the yard
of an AA center
fg
dried-out cockleburs
on the rabbi's sock
pwl
she shakes sawdust
from the prize ribbon
at the state fair
fg
telling the phone solicitor
I'm not available
pm
ecology
is an ancient science,
true or false?
pwl
atop the plastic float
a frog joins the chorus
fg
brilliant blues
begin to climb
spires of lupine
pm
beekeepers bait a hive
with honeycomb
pwl
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The Haiku Society of America sposors this annual award for renku of 36, 20, or 12 stanzas.
See the contest guidelines for the HSA Renku Awards.
For more information about the goals of this contest, download a copy of the HSA Renku Contest Committee Report (pdf) published in Frogpod XIII:2 (May 1990).
Awards by year:
| 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2010 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003 | 2002 | 2001 |
2001 judges commentary:
Grand Prize - Winter Stars
Responding to the hokku with the winter stars by describing the warmth of home, the wakiku shows us happiness in everyday life. The shift in No. 3 verse is excellent. The flow from No. 5 (moon) to No 6 (a stag) tightens the renku. All three moon verses deal with different situations. The moon eclipsed by the smog in Los Angeles is inventive. (Please remember that 'no moon' and 'the invisible moon' should be avoided in the moon verse.)
The first blossom verse is about withered cherry trees responding to the Living Dead in the previous verse. Skillfully, the poet focuses on a single branch with blossoms. The second blossom verse is picturesque and shows sensibilities often seen in Japanese-style renku. Are the first love verses (the ura 3 and 4) about a man falling into the trap of a prostitute? These verses about contemporary urban life are entertaining. However, the second love verses in the nagori-omote 8, 9, 10 are a little weak as love verses. The stronger love verses do not deal with children in love.
In the omote 4 and 5 and the ura 1 and 2, we see good shifting from the inside scene to the outside scene. The shifting and linking in the omote 5 and 6 is excellent, as well. The development in the nagori-omote 2 (tuba), 3 (elephant) and 4 (barnacles seal) is clever. The nagori-omote 5, 6 and 7 with the rejected manuscript in the middle demonstrates excellence in developing the flow.
Unfortunately, we don't see much variation in the nagori-omote 11 and 12 and the nagori-ura 1 and 2. The poets could have shown more movement here. Another flaw in this kasen, we must say, is there are too many animal verses (the omote 6, the ura 6, the nagori-omote 3, 4, 12, the nagori-ura 1, 6). It is better to have no more than one verse with a four-legged animal in the whole kasen. Also, too many outside verses in the middle are inhibitors of variation. In addition to the nagori-omote 8 (the kids' smooch) verse, there are several humorous verses.
The omote 4, ura 9 and 12, the nagori-omote 8 are superb examples of haikai. We can feel the kind eyes of the poets. The ageku with a frog is well done and evokes warm feelings. Some English-language renku have artificially long verses with forced three-line-breaks and occasionally even a short verse in 2 lines is too lengthy. In this winning renku, we don't see these shortfalls. The choice of words in this kasen is simple but powerful. Equally important is the pleasant rhythm and sound. We hope that many English-language poets will be inspired to write with relaxed and cheerful pens as shown in the winning renku.
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2001 judges commentary:
Second Prize - Snowball Snow
Let us briefly comment on the second winner, Snowball Snow. The shift and development in the omote 2 and 3, the omote 5 through the ura 5 are skillful. Three round-figure images in a row in the ura 5, 6 and 7 are somewhat disappointing. The cherry blossom verse with Madam Butterfly in the ura 11 is unique and evocative. The response to the ura 12 is cheerful and clever. A pair of herons in the nagori-omote 1 is answered by the human marriage verse in the nagori-omote 2. Here, the poets show effectiveness by twisting the flow. A gypsy in the nagori-omote 5 and refugees in the nagori omote 6 are a little close, image-wise and a little inert, link-wise.
Too many dark verses appear in the nagori-omote 8 through 11. However, the development in the nagori-omote 1 through 4 is skillful. The second blossom verse could be about cherry blossoms as in the traditional-style Japanese renku. The ageku is excellent with a bright and hopeful tone. We see excellent linking rather than dramatic shifting in this kasen. We believe the readers can feel how much the poets enjoyed writing it. Compared with the non-winning entries, this kasen follows the renku rules diligently and is a very high-level, powerful work. We truly respect the poets in the U.S. who are beginning to establish their own world while they enjoy writing high quality renku. We all thank the poets who entered this contest.
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2001 judges additional commentary:
These comments were written by Shinku Fukuda in Japanese, reflecting comments from Eiko Yachimoto and Fay Aoyagi. The comments were translated into English by Fay Aoyagi.
Compared with 12 entries last year, there were 6 entries in the 2001 renku contest. This was rather disappointing. However, we are glad to point out that all the entries were full kasen. In Japan, renku contests only accept half-kasen (18 verses) due to the high volume (700) of the entries. We feel this is unfortunate because kasen is the jewel of renku. We admire the many poets who have made efforts to obtain a deeper knowledge of renku, have had more experience in writing it and are eager to explore this new world.
There are some important elements in kasen renku. There should be close responsiveness between the hokku (the first verse) and the wakiku (the second verse). The omote (#1-6) should be calm and cheerful. In the ura (#7-18) and the nagori-omote (#19-30), the poets should shift and develop verses with the feeling of 'ha' (breaking the rhythm). The kasen renku should contain the compulsory two blossom verses and three moon verses, as well as two sets of love verses. There should be unlimited variations in the materials and the flavor of linking. The topics can be on society and its subjects, human nature, humor and current events. In linking, the poets can find the strings from the previous verse by picking up the flow through the topics, the emotions, the scents, the sounds and the hierarchies. They can also leap. An ideal ageku (the last verse) should have a hopeful and cheerful tone.
To judge with the utmost fairness, each of the three judges first submitted his/her favorites with comments to the others. After thorough discussion, we reached our conclusion. The grand prize is awarded to Winter Stars and the second prize goes to Snowball Snow. Let us discuss why we selected Winter Stars as the winner. We use the terms omote, ura, nagori-omote and nagori-ura here because we believe that awareness of these four parts of the renku is important for best results.
The poets seem to have written this kasen, Winter Stars, with relaxed pens, while keeping their eyes on American life-style and feelings. Basho used the term 'sejo-ninjo' (the feeling of the society and and its subjects). See the omote 3 and 4, the ura 1, 3, 7, 8, 9 and 12, the nagori-omote 7 and 8 and the nagori-ura 3. Each country has its own culture, customs, and human characteristics. We don't have to remind you that those elements of the society where the poets live are often reflected in the renku they write.
Lastly, we are so grateful for being given this opportunity to judge the contest and we enjoyed reading all the entries.
December, 2001
~Shinku Fukuda, Eiko Yachimoto, Fay Aoyagi, Judges
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In October 2000, the Global Renku Symposium was held in Japan with Shinku Fukuda as a coordinator. The international renku panelists were William J. Higginson from the U.S., Ian Cordescu from Romania, Mr. Zu Yao-Ming from China and Ai Yazaki from Japan. To promote renku which we can share as a global treasure, we issued "Global Renku Tokyo Manifesto." For the poets who are interested in English-language renku, Shinku Fukuda wrote "Introduction to Global Renku". Please contact Shinku Fukuda to obtain this book:
Shinku Fukuda
1-3-2 Kurihira
Aso-ku, Kawasaki
Kanagawa-ken 215-0031
Japan
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